Yes, people can hurt you. This final post is for people who need to calm down their Amygdala fears and anxieties, to allow them to have the courage and vulnerability to make their relationships their greatest assets; to trust people again.
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Often when we prepare ourselves for the day, we prepare ourselves to invest in our assets, for what we can get out of the day, for what we can produce, for how much of an influence we can be, or for how much further we can get in our careers. There is nothing wrong with all of this, but it makes for empty broken dreams if we do not do it with and for other people.
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It’s a strange question. How do I feel? seems more natural, but this evokes judgment: “good” or “bad” are usual responses. What do I feel? makes you more aware of and curious about your emotions. Usual answers may include I feel calm, peaceful, intensely angry, frustrated, joyful, mildly sad.
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As you breathe in and out in this first minute of your five-minute Morning Mental Fitness Program, ask yourself what do I think? This makes you aware of your thoughts. Know some characteristics of your thoughts. These include, according to pioneer psychologist William James,
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This Morning Mental Fitness Program consists of 5 minutes spent alone every morning to prepare you for the day, whatever it may bring. It involves 5 brain areas which influence your outlook on life, yourself and other people.
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In this last post, we look at handling triggers, reactions and letting go of emotions. A trigger is something that sets you off: a car back-firing is a trigger to those who have been in combat, words can be triggers if a parent belittled you constantly, someone raising their voice is a trigger if past arguments lead to violence. Anything can be a trigger. The way to break this link, is to know your triggers, be aware of them and be ready for them.
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OK. So you’re into self-love. You want to practice self-compassion. You want to care for be kind to and understand and accept yourself as you would for others. And you want to do this without getting into too much selfishness or narcissism. How do you do it? Here are Five Great Ways.
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if we don’t understand what real self-love is, we fall into selfish narcissism: putting ourselves first and becoming a taker. Others don’t like to put up with our selfishness, so they leave us alone and we end up unloved; out of the love-pool.
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Why is loving myself such a problem? More and more, we are encouraged to love ourselves. That sounds fine, but we live in a world that has a limited understanding of what love really is, so self-love too is misunderstood. So many people now believe that “love hurts” so we have to understand self-love to help ourselves, not hurt ourselves, in case we get disillusioned with our own love. There are three main problems with the idea of self-love. These, if they get in the way, make true self-love harder to achieve.
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