How to have courage
It’s now time to apply courage to your life. You can learn what courage is , and how it works in your brain . Like learning a language or a new sport, developing courage takes consistent, step-by-step effort. There’s no quick fix, but the effort is worth it. Over time, it gets easier.
Choosing courage
Just as a reminder from Post 1, which animal have more courage, lions and crocodiles, or mice and rabbits? Lions and crocodiles are fearless, nearly invincible, sitting at the top of the food chain. They don’t need courage. Mice and rabbits, on the other hand, are vulnerable. They need courage just to step outside and take a breath. As a human, you don’t need a lion’s strength to be courageous, you just need a rabbit’s skills. Aside from death and injury, here are the risks, vulnerabilities we humans face these days:
To get to know someone, you may feel vulnerable. You may need courage to speak to them.
If you want to win, you need courage to risk losing.
If you have something to sell, you need courage to market it and talk to people.
If you want to grow close to someone, to be vulnerable enough to share your feelings takes courage
If you’re different in some way but want friends, it takes courage to join in on conversation
In any venture promising success, you risk failure. Courage is needed.
Life is full of risks, vulnerabilities and potential failures. Each time you choose courage, it becomes easier to choose it again. This makes it a skill. One that you can learn and practice.
Based on my clinical experience as a psychotherapist (especially in exposure therapy, and in acceptance and commitment therapy), over 40 years of practicing as a classical pianist, and based on what I have learned through the neuroscience of courage, learning, neuroplasticity, and habituation, here is a method I believe will help you develop courage in your life. There are things you can learn and practice.
Learning: courage inside your brain
Here are the basics of what goes on in your brain in situations needing courage in a nutshell:
1. Your amygdala generates fear.
2. Your frontal lobe holds your values and what you want to see happen.
3. Your orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) must listen to your frontal lobe more than to your amygdala.
4. Your anterior cingulate gyrus (ACG) and other courage pathways help make that happen.
Practicing: the skill of choosing courage
Once you know the brain processes, courage can become a skill for you to practice. The method below has not yet been experimentally validated but hey, it works for me and in my clinical practice. First, you will need to understand how courage functions in the brain (see above). Then, train in each of the four key areas through practice. Here are the four steps:
1. FEEL the fear – amygdala
The first step is reducing your stress, fear, and anxiety.
Think like a snake handler: knowledge is power, and practice builds confidence.
Learn about anything you fear and must face.
Practice exposure in public speaking, rejection, performance, whatever you need.
The more you do it, the less courage you need next time.
2. AWARENESS of values – frontal lobe
Your values, goals, and desires live in your frontal lobes. Know them.
If you’re not aware of them, they can’t guide you.
The skill is to become ARMED with your values.
Use the ARMED-With-My-Values Tool [HERE]
Develop your values-based goals [HERE].
Follow your GPS: Goals, Plans, Steps [HERE].
The more you know what matters to you, the more powerfully you influence your OFC decisions.
3. CHOOSE courage – orbito-frontal cortex
Your OFC makes the final choice between fear and values.
You want your thoughts to control your emotions and your values to overcome your fears.
Practice making small courageous choices in your life.
Say no to instant gratification (like excessive alcohol, sugar, procrastination).
4. EMPATHY – ACG
Empathy, processed in the ACG, is a powerful motivator.
Courage pathways (sgACG and rTP) help you read social cues to regulate your emotional responses.
People are motivators: musicians are motivated by an audience, footballers by teammates and crowds.
Be motivated by those you care about, and by your future self.
Build a good relationship with your future self.
Practice choosing courage for others and for the person you want to become.
Learning and practicing skills
Whatever you fear, learn about it, expose yourself to it, and practice the skills needed to overcome it.
Snake handlers and bomb disposal experts aren’t born brave, they’re trained. They may seem fearless with explosives and snakes, but may be terrified of public speaking. That’s not a personal flaw. That’s the knowledge and skills gap which can be overcome by learning and practicing skills. Choosing courage is a skill in itself.
Here are a few more tips to learn and practice:
Break any fear-inducing tasks down into small steps.
Practice and repeat them, over and over and over.
Understand the process.
Try to enjoy the learning and the practice.
Reward yourself and your progress (but not too much).
These ideas harness the power of neuroplasticity
Once you've trained, FACE your fears
If you have great ideas or products, courage helps you market them.
If you want to form meaningful relationships, it takes courage to be open, vulnerable, and connected.
Step by step.
Use the FACE equation to train and apply courage in your life:
F – FEEL FEAR from your amygdala, and practice to reduce it.
A – AWARENESS. Know your values and goals in the frontal lobe.
C – CHOOSE COURAGE in your orbitofrontal cortex. Choose little acts of courage first.
E – EMPATHY from your ACG can guide and motivate you.
Through these, you can live courageously, and live the life you truly value.
Cheers,
Dr Christian Heim